28 Apr

This weekend I saw my parents for the first time since telling them about my conversion. It was awful.

My dad said “Hello,” to me. That was the one word I heard from him the entire 37 hours I was there.

My mom, however, had quite a bit to say. And ask. And micro-manage.

Throughout the course of the weekend she publicly accused me of:

  • cheating on my fiance (whom she told me she doesn’t like anyways)
  • being pregnant (I kept trying to get away from her by telling her I was tired)
  • wrecking my car and not telling her (I drove up with a friend rather than driving myself)
  • intentionally not being able to find an internship/job for the summer
  • being lazy and selfish
  • doing drugs (I have no clue where this one came from)

Not once did she bring up the fact that I’m Catholic now.

There is literally nothing I can do to fix this…except maybe a long shower and a good cry.

Pray for me, friends.

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9 Responses to “”

  1. SR April 28, 2013 at 10:08 am #

    Ellie, I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you. Maybe you just need “a shower and a good cry.” So for today I will let you have it. Remember we all love you, and most of all, God loves you more. Your parents love you too. One day I am sure they will let go of all of this, because if they do not, they risk losing their daughter. As a parent myself, I could never accept that. God Bless, SR

  2. Lyn April 28, 2013 at 10:28 am #

    Ellie, I am praying for you, and for your parents. It’s hard on both sides, we have so many hopes and dreams for our children, and sometimes we parents get stuck into thinking anything different than what we dream or desire for them is second best, or *gasp* failure on our part.

    As a Momma who has had some experience in this kind of conflict with my grown kids, can I just encourage you to keep loving them, and communicate often that your decisions are not a reflection on them, they have not blown it with you, You still love the Lord and are doing your best to follow Him…It’s just that He is moving you in a different direction than they were expecting or know how to deal with.

    I can just about guarantee after each of those discussions, your Momma wanted to take a hot shower and have a good cry too. There will be resolution, it’s just going to take time, and a whole lot of patience on both sides.

    Your Daddy sounds like my husband. Maybe he thinks being quiet about it is wise, so he doesn’t say anything he will later regret (and your Momma sounds very much like me, that is why I think I know how she will be feeling), and he may be right..Love him anyway. You don’t have to explain everything right now, just answer their questions and concerns as best you can, don’t let those hurtful words/insinuations linger, let ’em roll off. You might remind yourself that this is pain and confusion speaking, try to listen to her heart instead of the words that spill out.

    ((((((Ellie))))))
    Praying for an extra measure of grace and mercy in your conversations with your parents from here on out.

    Lyn

  3. theoress April 28, 2013 at 10:47 am #

    Awww. You poor girl; that sounds terrible. I have no advice for you; but I will keep you in my prayers. Pax Christi.

  4. Jennwith2ns April 28, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

    Ugh. I felt like a long cry today, too, but probably not as long as yours. Definitely praying for you.

  5. singingjaniebird April 28, 2013 at 8:21 pm #

    How awful!!!!! Lifting you and your parents up in prayer in a special way this evening. I’m sure that our Blessed Mother is giving you extra hugs tonight. I’m sending some your way also. My husband just chimed in that he’s praying for you too.

  6. pishnguyen April 28, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    It sounds like a terrible and disheartening weekend. Reading about your experiences with your parents made me want to cry for you and with you. I am sorry beyond words that you had to live through that … and that you will have to continue to live through it and with it.

    I have been praying for you and for your parents. And I will continue to do so. Wishing you Blessings and Peace, my friend.

  7. cinemacatechesis April 28, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

    Thoughts and prayers. Again, time has a way of healing. Love them. Pray for them. Continue to be an example of God’s grace and love. Mary, Mother of Jesus, pray for us. Joseph, Foster Father of Jesus pray for us. All Holy Men and Women, pray for us!

  8. geloruma April 29, 2013 at 3:31 am #

    Hi Ellie,
    Try to see this angry response for what it is; a form of cowardice: You try to be honest and upfront – someone doesn’t like the challenge so they attack you by trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
    Use it as an opportunity for growing in the virtues of steadfastness and faithfulness. You are doing o.k. and we are praying for you.

  9. SR April 29, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

    Ellie,

    I have been thinking a lot about you since I read this. I agree with Lyn so much. Your Mom probably wants a “shower and good cry herself.” In my thoughts Ellie, I see one very good thing about your parents, and that is the “Daughter” they have raised. They seem to be very brave as they want what they “feel” is best for her. They are hurt Ellie and sometimes hurt brings forth a lot of emotion. It is a process many of us have to go through in order to heal. I just wanted to let you know they cannot be all bad, because you are a prime example of their parenting skills and love. I promise you God will show up in this. When only He knows. When the healing comes, it will come. They do love you Ellie. If they did not they would not be fighting so hard, for what they “feel” you have done wrong. In the long haul of things, I think that is what it all boils down to. God Bless, SR

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